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if this was my shot, I would have used a reflector or something to bounce some light back into this portrait. I am sure this may work for some as it is, but not me. I like the conversion to BW though.

I understand what you are trying to do. Try my suggestion next time and see if it you like the effect, if you don't then just ignore me. You will keep your idea and reveal the mood in those eyes with a reflector or shiny surface. Play with refector distance to pronouce the mood. I see this was shot at 4.5, if you have a light meter, meter your bounced light with a 2:1 ratio or for more drama in duality go for 3:1 or 4:1. This is one aspect painters and photographers merge - using light to shape your subject.

 

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